live and learn

I never thought I needed travel insurance. I'd never had any issues on a trip, and since I have health insurance, I figured it would only be useful for lost luggage. Since I never travel with anything irreplaceable, why bother paying more for a trip?

Then it happened. A life altering situation that no one could have predicted. I got the text to call my husband ASAP early one morning while we were in a small town near Sacramento, CA. The day before, we had gone exploring and paddleboarding on Lake Tahoe and fell in love with the area. My son, who was 10, asked if we could take a big family trip with Grammy and Papa next year. I told him it would be a great idea, but deep down I wasn't so sure. See, I had gotten a call two days before that saying that my step-dad, Mathew's Papa John, had cancer. It didn't look good. I hadn't told the kids yet, and I planned to wait to say anything until I knew more. I didn't want this news to spoil their trip. Unfortunately, worse news was coming.

The day before we had to take an emergency flight home, we went to Lake Tahoe.

When I got the text from my husband, I called immediately. I knew in my heart something was wrong. His mom had a heart attack the year before, so my first thought was something happened to her. When he didn't answer, I called my mom. I figured she would know what was going on. She did. It was about John. She was in tears, nearly incoherent. I didn't know what to do.

We live in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Flights from the U.P. are so expensive, so we generally have to drive about six hours to get to an airport big enough to be affordable. This trip, we had flown from Chicago to San Francisco. It had been a bumpy trip from the get-go. Delayed flights, sleeping on the airport floor, my daughter accidentally calling 911 and having the cops show up... not the smoothest travel experience. When I was still on the phone with my mom, I realized to get home, I'd have to drive three hours back to San Francisco, return the rental car, fly to Chicago, then drive the rest of the way home- all in one stretch. With two kids who may lose one of the most important people in their lives. Even before I was able to fully comprehend the pain my mom was in, I realized the nearly impossible trip that lay before us. We were traveling alone, and at that moment, I realized how alone I really was. How would I get them home from across the country? Was it even possible to get a flight home in time? Would John make it till we got there? How would I tell my kids if he didn't?

To this day, I'm not sure how we made it, but we did. I called United Airlines first. We had miles through them, and I knew that would be the only way we would afford last minute tickets to Chicago. The lady on the phone was able to get us a flight from Sacramento to Chicago that left three hours later. It gave us just enough time to pack and get to the airport. The rental car company allowed us to return the car there instead of at the San Francisco airport and even waived the fee when I told them our situation. The people we were staying with through AirBnb were amazing too. They helped watch the kids while I arranged the trip and packed the car, and then they made us some sandwiches to eat on the road. I couldn't eat. I still didn't tell the kids what was going on, even though they knew something was dreadfully wrong. How could I tell them? I just knew we needed to get home, and I was going to get as far home as I could before breaking their beautiful hearts.

We got to the airport. I still hadn't heard more news on John, and I was too scared to call. I will admit that I was a bit of a coward. I didn't want to know. Maybe it was denial. Maybe it was because I felt guilty. We hadn't had the best relationship over the years. I had forgiven him for past mistakes, but never told him. The right time never came. But maybe I didn't make the time. Either way, it was too late and I knew that. I'd never felt the pain of regret like this before.

Getting through security was our next step. I figured I could tell the kids while we sat and waited for the plane. They were both so agitated not knowing what was going on, and I knew it wasn't fair to continue keeping it from them. Imagination is usually worse than reality.

My phone rang as I took off my shoes to put them in the security bin. John had died. The shock of it ripped through my body like a knife. All around me, the world kept moving, but all I could see were the faces of my kids looking at me. They both immediately thought it was their dad, then they thought it was my mom. It was stupid of me, but I had to tell them. Why I didn't wait till we got through security, I don't know. I wasn't thinking clearly, and I knew if I had to tell them, it needed to be before I lost the nerve. I am still so angry that I had to be the one to tell them. That we were alone. That I was alone. That my mom was alone. But anger is a heavy burden and I'm trying to work through it.

Mathew crumbled in my arms. He shrieked so loud, everyone stopped and stared at us. He was so close to John. Papa John was his hero. They played nerf wars, Captain America, and built boats out of scrap wood. My own dad had passed away five years before, and while Mathew knew him and loved him, Papa John was his best papa. Now, his papa was gone, and he was hurting so badly. Annika didn't cry. She had just turned five and didn't really know what it meant to die. She had never lost anyone before. She held Mathew up with me, trying to console him.

One of the few family photos we have. Take my word for it, you should be taking more photos with your family.

Somehow we got through security. I don't know how. We were led to a bench and someone brought our bags and shoes to us. We sat and held each other, crying and rocking. I knew phone calls needed to be made, and I was so worried for my mom. She was alone when she found out. It was a complicated situation, and I won't go into details about how he died. No one expected it; no one could have known what was going to happen till it was too late.

I didn't have the numbers of my mom's close friends, so I called one of my best friends. She had also lost her husband, so she knew the grief my mom was facing. She saved the day, literally. She sat with my mom, answered the phone for her, turned away unwanted visitors, and gave her space when she needed it. I'll never be able to repay her for what she did.

We got on the plane. Since we booked last minute, we were all separated. It was so horrible. No one would switch with us, even when it was obvious that we were traveling because of a death. Why are some people that selfish? Is a window seat worth that much that you would let a grieving child sit alone? When did our priorities become so skewed? The flight seemed endless. We kept looking at one another, trying to connect even though we were apart.

Landing in Chicago was a relief, but knowing we still had six hours to go felt like a punch in the gut. We landed at 9:30, but by the time we got to the car (parking in the economy lot is a long way from the airport), it was 10:30. We got gas, then headed north. The kids fell asleep around midnight. We were close to Green Bay by that time. I know I called and talked to people to stay awake, but I can't remember who. So many of my friends had offered to come get us and drive my car home, but what would that have solved? I didn't want to burden others knowing I would need their support for quite a while. Plus, depending on anyone else at that point seemed too overwhelming. I knew I could get us home, and I knew I could do it faster alone.

Getting home was a relief, but not really. The hell had only just begun. All of us had to deal with our own grief, but being home made it easier because we all had each other. A trip that was supposed to be an adventure turned to be the worst day of our lives. To this day, when I hear "California", my mind doesn't remember the beauty or the fun; I remember the pain.

My point in writing this is to express the importance of travel insurance. It does not matter what you think you know or what you plan. Life changes in the blink of an eye. Had we not had airline miles, we would not have been able to get home. Flights were over $1000 per person for the same day trip and we did not have access to $3000. Sure we could have moved some money around, asked my in-laws for an emergency loan...but the fact is having travel insurance would have given me one less thing to panic about in a moment when I was at my worst. Since then, I've never gone without it. The peace of mind is worth every penny.

If you travel, don't risk going without insurance. It really isn't all that expensive when you think of what it could do if tragedy struck.